Fight Fire With Water

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If your honest you can admit that revenge feels good. It's only natural to want to fight someone who hurt others but I've always hated the phrase fight fire with fire; don't most people use water...

For a while I did not know how to turn the other cheek. Then I started working with people who'd been diagnosed with a traumatic brain injury. I've had clients hit, spit, choke and sexually harass me. As an employee I was not allowed to retaliate, instead staff had a mandatory training course where we the learn steps to take to help deescalate a client's intense and sometimes scary temperament. There I learned to see the bad behaviors as separate from the good people who wronged me.

It became easy to forgive my clients because I knew about their injury and my heart went out to them; in a way their bad behaviors were acceptable, though never justified. It also helped that a major part of my job was to institute consequences for bad behavior; the clients had motivation to exchange offensive behavior for better communication skills. The longer I worked in the field, the stronger my affection grew for people who's actions were often hurtful.

I have many fond memories of my clients and the things that I've learned in those days. One thing that I've learned is that all people have egos and baggage that lead them to react inconsiderately sometimes. So what do you don't have your agitator's medical history. It helps to first have a strong motivation to stay calm and to believe that there is strength in patience. When you think that something important is in jeopardy anger becomes our can of spinach. Taking in anger, instead of observing it, gets you prepared to fight. However when anger comes from within it helps us to see what boundaries need to be set to prevent future attacks. It also helps us to see grace as a powerful weapon against injustice.

Of course I'm not perfect; I'm still learning how to accept people unconditionally. One thing that helps me to have patience is to think about moments in my life that my action resemble, even vaguely, the agitator's offense. Armed with humility I find it easier to imagine why the person may react in a negative way. This practice usually leads to empathy and help me to become aware of the best way to handle the situation.






Sometimes fighting fire with fire is necessary, like when there's not access to water or when the fire is too big to manage. In other words you may have to fight from time to time, with words or occasionally to physically defend yourself. When you need to react quickly the adrenaline from fear or anger will help... But if you have some patience handy I still say try that first : )

Mindless Moments

headless buddha
headless buddha uploaded by mindluge

I believe that mediation is a great way to bring balance and peace to life. However, as of lately, I've found it increasingly difficult to make time to quiet my mind and be still. Even when I do put meditation into my schedule my mind is so consumed with thoughts and feelings that moments of awarness still seem elusive...and it shows.

...You know the moments in life where you are barely functioning because for you are too preoccupied increases the likelyhood of you making a huge mistake. Being present, aware or mindful lessens embarrasing or even dangerous behaviors.

Don't worry. I'm not defeated, but I am a little overwhelmed and off balanced. Instead of sharing meditation practices I thought I would share some of oops to inspire you take time to smell the roses and connect with yourself.

(Warning: Some of the moments bellow might gross you out. So if you have a weak stomach or a critical nature, you might want to skip my mindless moments and read Introduction To Mindfulness instead.)


Mindless Moments

  1. One day while eating I noticed some food on the floor. I was sitting in a chair with wheels so I wiped the food up with my napkin started to roll towards the trash can but end up running over my cats tail in the process. I apologized to Tink profusely then continued eating. When I wiped my mouth I was startled by the all the hair on my lips. I realized that I never threw away the orginal napkin that now had lots of cat hair on it...Yuck!
  2. My husband was driving while and I was on the passagner side enjoying the view when a big ugly bug flew into the car and landed on my leg. As a reflex I opened the door only to hear my husband say calmly, "Don't do that." Those words caught my attention and I become aware that I was opening up a car door on the freeway...Scary!
  3. When I worked in the health care I had some medical responsibilties. For instance I'd suctionthrough my client's tracheostomy a few times a day.Then I would to clean out the suction containor that holds salivia and mucus. One day two coworkers were talking close to the sink where I emptied and washed out the suciton containor. I felt confused when I noticed one them gaging while the other one was looked disgusted. They both shared this respobitlty to I though they would be use to this process . I apologized but thought they should have been use to the sight by now. Two days later my mind replayed the previous incident and I realized that the real problem was that I was cleaning the suction container in the kitchen sink, not in the bathroom...Sick!
  4. One winter morning I had to start my car to warm the engine and decided to wait inside. After about 10 minutes I went outside to leave but realized I'd locked my only set of keys in the car. I was so embarrassed when I gave a reason for why I would be late for work.
  5. When I was fifteen love swiming so I could not resist an invition to the beach with my family and a couple of guys close to my age. I did not bring a bathing suit so I had borrow one from my aunt; it was a little big but it fit okay. My aunt stayed on the sand as we swam. It was so much fun until I wanted to impress the guys by showing them how long I could stay underwater. When I finally sprung up from the water all I noticed was two huge smiles and a swelling of pride because I out swam the fellas. It took about 20 seconds for me to realize that they were inpressed not by my swimming, but because my swimsuit fell down exposing my chest.


Did you laugh? It's okay, I laugh at myself all the time. I've accepted that I might be crazy.

Can you relate? If so share some of you mindless moments or meditation tips.