I wish that I had someone to warn me about all the scary things to come. I've been through a few extreme situations in my life, but if prepared I can usually react in a smart way that keeps me safe. I believe, however, all the preparation in the world cannot properly prepare anyone for their first panic attack.
Although I was a lover of all things psychology, I was ignorant of the existence of panic attacks. For the most part I've had an easy life; the hardest thing I had to deal with was my parents' divorce and I am pretty proud of the way that I handled it.
As a kid I tried to stay under the radar by blending in, but I was underwhelmed in school. Elementary school left me avoiding homework and studying, but I still walked away with a nearly flawless report card. Middle school was a little different. I attended a public school that did not give traditional grades and model itself on self motivation; there I could give myself my spelling test, determine how much homework I would complete in science and participate in accelerated math classes without being promoted. It prepared me for high school by helping to feel excited about school and learning how to push myself, but I also got good at finding the loop holes and if something did not interest me, or was hard for me, I found a way to the bare minimum but still get good grades.
High school was a completely different experience. I faired decent in my freshman year but soon discovered that if I wanted to keep my head above water I would have to work for it. The teacher that helped me learn this the quickest was Mrs. Branch, my chemistry teacher. The first day I walked into her classroom was like any other day. I laughed and talked to my friend as I found a desk that was not too close, but not too far from the front of the classroom. Upon seating down I notice her, my teacher with her eyes fixed to the attendance book, waiting for the bell to ring so she could start the roll call. Without a smile and very little eye contact she called name and check them off one by one.
She handed out our syllabus and proceeds to explain how she only gives out two grades, A's or F's. If we make one mistake on or lab assignments, we will earn an F. If we fail to turn in a homework assignment we earn a F. I we get one wrong answer on a quiz we will also earn a F. All semester I shared with my fellow students how I hated Mrs. Branch. She was sooooooo mean, can you imagine having a teacher that never smiles. Instead of yelling at you to be quiet she pierces your heart with a death stare that would scare most convicts. I survived Mrs. Branch class with a C, and I had to fight for it; I proclaimed to all who would listen that I would never take a class by that woman again.
Two semesters later I ate humble pie as I step into Mrs. Branch's classroom. Scared for my life, and my GPA, I dedicated myself to trying to push myself and to attain an A in her class. It was there that I discovered a fond appreciate for Chemistry and for studying. I lead my lab projects and aced most assignments by shear will. It was never easy but I loved every minute of it. One day during lab I was getting frustrated because of a lab assignment. It was toward the end of the semester and I could not figure out the next step.
I was struggling to find the right solution when a surge of pain heated my chest. My heart started palpating and I experienced shortness of breath. At first I tried to ignore it but the pain was so intense that I was doubled over, gripping my chest and turning red. "OH NO! I'm having a heart attack", I thought! I tried to put a brave face for my worried lab partners and I headed towards the teacher. With an anxious tone and fear stained expression I told Mrs. Branch of my symptoms while imagining her running down the hallway to call 911. To my surprise she told me to sit beside her and explained to me that I was having a panic attack. Though this term was unfamiliar to me, I surmised its meaning and did as she instructed. I really thought it was a heart attack, but her confidence persuaded me and I knew that I would be okay. By the end of the class my heart rate returned to normal, and so did my breathing. I was so grateful for Mrs. Branch's guidance and genuine concern.
From that point on I learned to appreciate Mrs. Branch. She knew that most students were capable of at lot more than they gave themselves credit. If status quo is an option most people will do the bare minimum when they think that something is outside of their interest. Now I think differently of teachers that require very little effort for an A+; they've lost passion for teaching and their chosen subject and compensate by having low expectations for their students. Instead of asking other kids what are the easiest classes, I asked what the most interesting classes were. I also learned that panic attacks are temporary and usually brought on by being overly focused on some overwhelming problem. I only remember one other panic attack after that first incident, but I remained calm, and it did not last long. Thank you Mrs. Branch, I will never forget you.
What about you? What teacher had a major impact in your life and taught you something that you carried with you throughout your life?
From that point on I learned to appreciate Mrs. Branch. She knew that most students were capable of at lot more than they gave themselves credit. If status quo is an option most people will do the bare minimum when they think that something is outside of their interest. Now I think differently of teachers that require very little effort for an A+; they've lost passion for teaching and their chosen subject and compensate by having low expectations for their students. Instead of asking other kids what are the easiest classes, I asked what the most interesting classes were. I also learned that panic attacks are temporary and usually brought on by being overly focused on some overwhelming problem. I only remember one other panic attack after that first incident, but I remained calm, and it did not last long. Thank you Mrs. Branch, I will never forget you.
What about you? What teacher had a major impact in your life and taught you something that you carried with you throughout your life?
3 comments:
Touching story!
I never had a panic attack, thank God!
FOr school, I was cool with everyone and the teachers loved me :) But at senior year my math teacher was always talking smack to me during class. However outside the classroom, he was always talking about me and he was always telling great things. My friends and I couldnt believe that. my mom told me he was acting like that because he didnt want me to have a "big head" lool. My teachers never pushed me to do better, my mom did all that for me :) Now I forgot all my teachers, lool.
and I'm grateful to my mom for all the succes I had during school
My mom pushed me too. My mom never seemed impressed with my work, she always found something that I could improve in, especially my witting. She was willing help though, she would always proofed my work and I loved most of her edits, she's a great writer. I looked to her for help in most of my school work except for math and science. I excelled at those subject and those were not her strength.(let her tell she has a Math LD. I don't buy it; whenever there's a sales she is suddenly cured and she can figure the cost of each item in here head (minus the %off plus the sales taxes) in seconds.
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